Interpersonal Skills

Interpersonal Skill
Interpersonal skills can be defined as “those skills which one needs in order to communicate effectively with another person or a group of people” Interpersonal skills include the habits, attitudes, manners, appearance, and behaviors we use around other people which affect how we get along with other people. We sometimes do not understand how important interpersonal skills really are. It's easy to laugh and make jokes about people who obviously lack interpersonal skills, but sometimes we need to examine our own impressions on others to better prepare for success in life as well as for a productive career. The development of interpersonal skills begins early in life and is influenced by family, friends, and our observations of the world around us. Television and movies also influence this area, but most of these characteristics are passed along to us by our parents or guardians. Some aspects of interpersonal skills are even inherited. Appearance and some personality traits are largely influenced by our genes. For us to improve our interpersonal skills, we must first be aware of what we are like from the perspective of other people who interact with us. Habits we are unaware of, actions we think go unnoticed, and other things about us that might affect other people are impossible for us to change if we are not aware of them. One of the things that teachers try to do, starting in the early grades, is to help students’ correct bad habits and to develop good interpersonal skills. As we become adults, it increasingly becomes our own responsibility to initiate any changes in interpersonal skills that might be needed. They are more important than ever and they greatly influence both opportunities and success. It's just that rather than trying to change interpersonal skills, as is the case when we are children, adults tend to make judgments about one another based on interpersonal skills without explicitly saying that is the case.

Core Areas for effective Intrapersonal Relationships
a) Self-awareness: includes recognition of our personality, our strengths and weaknesses, our likes and dislikes. Developing self-awareness can help us to recognize when we are stressed or under pressure. It is also often a prerequisite for effective communication and interpersonal relations, as well as for developing empathy for others.
b) Effective listening: The ability to listen effectively is a core skill in a range of interpersonal situations.
c) Questioning: The ability to use questions that maximize the amount of relevant (relative to irrelevant) information that is gathered in an exchange, serves to enhance the communicative efficiency of the interaction.
d) Oral communication: describes any type of inter-action that makes use of spoken words.
e) Helping or facilitating helping others.
f) Reflecting: statements in the interviewer’s own words that encapsulate and re-present the essence of the interviewee’s own words. Presenting reflections during interactions can serve a similar information gathering function to that seen in questioning.
g) Assertiveness: Asserting oneself can serve many different communicative functions including allowing the expression of views clearly and openly and the avoidance of negative conflicts.
h) Non-verbal communications: A number of communicative activities also involve non-verbal behavior and an ability to detect and portray messages through this medium is also seen as a central interpersonal skill. Messages can be communicated through the following non-verbal channels:
Non-Verbal Channels
Facial expressions: an individual’s emotional state can be transmitted via their facial expression. In addition, facial expressions can be used to regulate interactions.
Gaze: Emotion information can also be communicated through gaze. For example, long stares are often seen as signals of hostility or aggression. Looking can also be used to initiate and regulate interpersonal interactions and can be used to assess the reactions of others during oral presentations and conversations.
Gestures: Gestures can be used to replace words, in addition to words to place emphasis on an element of a verbal message, or to regulate or signal the beginning or end of an interaction.
d. Posture: An individual’s posture can reveal how they feel and their attitude towards others involved in the interaction Posture also tends to vary as a function of how formal an interpersonal situation is with more relaxed postures indicating less formal situations.
Paralinguistic cues: Non-verbal vocal cues such as the pitch, tone and speed of speech can also reveal information about emotional states and can be used to regulate interactions. For example, people experiencing anxiety tend to speak very quickly and in a high pitch. Paralinguistic cues can also regulate turn-taking in interactions and pitch changes also indicate when questions have been asked.
Why Interpersonal skill important?
· Interpersonal skills enhance employability
· Interpersonal skills is fundamental in learning
· It can improve you personality
· It creates a feeling of community and intimacy where everyone's contributions are valued
Ways to Improve Your Interpersonal Skills
Smile. Few people want to be around someone who is always down in the dumps. Do your best to be friendly and upbeat with your coworkers. Maintain a positive, cheerful attitude about work and about life. Smile often. The positive energy you radiate will draw others to you.
Be appreciative. Find one positive thing about everyone you work with and let them hear it. Be generous with praise and kind words of encouragement. Say thank you when someone helps you. Make colleagues feel welcome when they call or stop by your office. If you let others know that they are appreciated, they’ll want to give you their best.
Pay attention to others. Observe what’s going on in other people’s lives. Acknowledge their happy milestones, and express concern and sympathy for difficult situations such as an illness or death. Make eye contact and address people by their first names. Ask others for their opinions.
Practice active listening. To actively listen is to demonstrate that you intend to hear and understand another’s point of view. It means restating, in your own words, what the other person has said. In this way, you know that you understood their meaning and they know that your responses are more than lip service. Your coworkers will appreciate knowing that you really do listen to what they have to say.
Bring people together. Create an environment that encourages others to work together. Treat everyone equally, and don't play favorites. Avoid talking about others behind their backs. Follow up on other people's suggestions or requests. When you make a statement or announcement, check to see that you have been understood. If folks see you as someone solid and fair, they will grow to trust you.
Resolve conflicts. Take a step beyond simply bringing people together, and become someone who resolves conflicts when they arise. Learn how to be an effective mediator. If coworkers bicker over personal or professional disagreements, arrange to sit down with both parties and help sort out their differences. By taking on such a leadership role, you will garner respect and admiration from those around you.
Communicate clearly. Pay close attention to both what you say and how you say it. A clear and effective communicator avoids misunderstandings with coworkers, collegues, and associates. Verbal eloquence projects an image of intelligence and maturity, no matter what your age. If you tend to blurt out anything that comes to mind, people won’t put much weight on your words or opinions.
Humor them. Don’t be afraid to be funny or clever. Most people are drawn to a person that can make them laugh. Use your sense of humor as an effective tool to lower barriers and gain people’s affection.
See it from their side. Empathy means being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand how they feel. Try to view situations and responses from another person’s perspective. This can be accomplished through staying in touch with your own emotions; those who are cut off from their own feelings are often unable to empathize with others.
Don't complain. There is nothing worse than a chronic complainer or whiner. If you simply have to vent about something, save it for your diary. If you must verbalize your grievances, vent to your personal friends and family, and keep it short. Spare those around you, or else you’ll get a bad reputation.
Try to address someone by their exact name. Remembering a person's name is a sincere sign of interest, is highly flattering, and never forgotten.
12. Praise first and criticize later, and only if you have to.
13. Choose to be EnthusiasticCorporate presidents voted it the most valuable personality trait. It's the biggest single factor in successful selling. Think enthusiastically. Talk enthusiastically. Become enthusiastic by acting enthusiastic. Your thoughts and actions establish your level of enthusiasm.
14. Be Alive to Everything You DoWalk fast. Put a bounce in your step. A vigorous, hearty handshake indicates you are glad to be alive and happy to be with the other person. A good smile radiates enthusiasm. Put spirit into your speech by varying the tempo, raising and lowering the pitch, changing the tone and modulation. Force yourself to act with enthusiasm, and soon you will feel enthusiastic.
15. Broadcast Good NewsNo one ever made a friend or accomplished anything worthwhile by transmitting bad news. Good news, on the other hand, promotes good-will and spreads enthusiasm. The message, "Hey! I've got good news" gets the attention of everyone. Take sunshine to school or work. Always aim to make the person you talk to feel better than they otherwise would.
16. The Power of VisualizationImagination powerfully influences successful outcomes. When imagination and willpower compete, the imagination always wins. Force of will never keep you striving for success, but proper visualization will. All peak performers visualize success. Before you try to do anything, close your eyes and visualize yourself doing it well.
17. Positive Self-TalkWhat did you say to yourself today? Did you moan and groan about everyone at school or work? Did you complain about your parents to your best friend? What we think is 100% reflected in how we feel. If all we think about is negative thoughts, our actions will be negative. Remember "I'm a 10! I'm Healthy! Wealthy! Happy! I do what I ought to do, when I ought to do it, whether I want to or not! No Debate! I love me!"
Love OthersHow can we become more loving? By bringing encouragement, optimism, and hope to all that we meet. By helping others feel comfortable in our presence. By spreading joy and goodwill. By being concerned about the wishes and desires of others. By understanding, caring, accepting, and forgiving. By becoming more concerned about helping others achieve their individual desires.